"Are you rich?"

Absolutely!! You are probably thinking, “Wow, Christy!” ; but let me explain. If you know me you know I love nice things and am slightly bougie but I am far from rich when it comes to the standards of the U.S. I will be the first to admit that the struggle is real - looking at your neighbor’s or friends especially in this age of social media and thinking…….if only I had that relationship, car, house, spouse……then I would be happy! I am calling us all out today and saying - Blasphemy (which means profane talk in my book). Don’t get me wrong - it is perfectly fine to want/have nice things as long as those things don’t have you!

I had all of the kids over for dinner last night and as they were finishing up with the meal, I walked into the kitchen to make the whipped topping for the homemade strawberry shortcake. I was wrapping it up when I heard them talking about the “good old days” and the memories they had growing up in what they would consider their childhood home (which means the house we lived in the longest) in Chesapeake. They were talking about having to share one bath between the five of us and having only 3 bedrooms and no real “master”. My mom reminded me of Chelsie’s 16th birthday party there - and how a relative that would give us clothes from time to time gave me a hand me down skirt that I had no idea was a skirt until I wore it as a dress at the party she was attending. As they were reminiscing I began thinking about all of the “rich” memories they have from a house that had a huge S made out of stone on the old brick home in a neighborhood where the house values are still around $200K. Our lives were rich - not because of our social status but because we had each other and we had relationships that meant the world to us. We didn’t take elaborate vacations - in fact - most vacations were trips that Bill’s father paid for or a trip to Florida to stay in my Uncle’s trailer on his property. You see my friend - rich isn’t a social status - it’s a heart condition. I pray that you are always “rich” in the Father’s love, family relationships and friendships. Relationships are so important to the Father that it’s the only thing we are allowed to take with us when it is our time to leave this earth. My challenge to us all - LIVE RICH!!

What's your kite?

Have you ever thought about how the heck did they build a suspension bridge across the Niagara Gorge? The answer to the question is simple and bizarre - they held a kite flying contest. Homan Walsh a fifteen year old American won! The next day they attached a stronger line to his kite and flew it across the rapidly flowing gorge. Then a rope - next a 36 strand gauge wire! Soon there was a suspension bridge!

As I began to ponder this crazy feat I began to think about my life and I am sure yours. We have this amazing dream within us and can get overwhelmed with the details of how the heck is it going to get from here to there. The story of the suspension bridge gave me great perspective - it was a boy and his kite that flight by flight helped to build something that some thought would never be obtainable. Oh friend, don’t get discouraged today or overwhelmed with the dream deep within you but keep the pace - step by step (or flight by flight) your going to make it! Let your kite soar and let the winds carry you!

How about those sunglasses?

This is one of my favorite pictures - not only is my grandbaby adorbs , but it also reminds me of one of my favorite stories that keeps me humble.

Growing up most of clothes were home made - not because that was the cool thing to do back them but it was mostly what my parents could afford. Although my mom and grandmother could sew like nobody’s business , I was still dressed a little different than the other kids in school.

As I grew older - labels and designers became a huge deal to me. Giving the appearance of seeming having it all together is something that was my philosophy long before image and comparison issues that revolve around social media arrived. My daughter Chelsie reminded me not long ago that we couldn’t leave the house to go to Lowe’s unless when they were growing up with out being dressed, hair done and full make up on - because of course you never know who you will run into.

One day, a few years ago, I was meeting a new real estate client. We had a whole day planned of looking at houses as they were moving here from DC and had one day to shop. They had brought their entire family and their mini van seemed pack. On my way to meet them I stopped at the store for a stash of items to keep the kids occupied while we looked - coloring books, crayons, snacks, drinks and car games - you name it I had it in tow to make an amazing first impression for this family. In my book - first impressions are everything. I arrived to meet them at the first home - had my Louis Vuitton hanging from my arm and pulled up in my Mercedes Benz sports coup, with gifts for the kids handing on my other arm. I had this huge pair of sunglasses on that are pictured here with my grand. I introduced myself, opened the door for the family and we started our day. - the sun was shining bright and I felt all glammed up and in charge. After about the 3rd house in, it dawned on my that my new clients seemed quiet and couldn’t look me in the eye - after passing by a mirror I realized why! I had been wearing my sun glasses the entire day and one of the lenses was completely missing!!!! OMG!!! These people, that did not know me from Adam, had walked around 1/2 of the day with me looking at them with one lens in and one eyeball showing!! I suffer from glaucoma - so lighting is sometimes and issue from me.

Oh my friend, sometimes we want to give the appearance of having it all together and I know it must be humorous to the Father! Isn’t it amazing to know that in our weakness, with all of our flaws, He still loves. He has an amazing way of reminding me that from time to time. It’s okay to be me with all my insecurities, faults and craziness - He made me! Instead of being so consumed with what others may think if they don’t see me in perfection mode I am learning to cast all those cares on Him, because He always cares for me - isn’t that what really matters?

"YOU'RE BORING!"

I didn’t realize that when I scheduled my oncology check up it was on October 1 - and that today begins National Breast Cancer Awareness month. This is a photo of 3 hero’s in my life in 2011,. Pictured here is my sister, my surgeon, myself and my mom. Little did we know the battle that would lie ahead for the three of us.

On April 1, 2011, I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer (meaning it had already left the breast and travelled to my lymph nodes under my right arm). My husband, son and son-in-love were golfing in Williamsburg - celebrating my husband’s birthday at a charity event with plans for an evening out with all of us celebrating his birthday. Things would suddenly change when I received the call from Dr. Reed - a call that no one wants to get no matter your age, “You have cancer.”

I was then scheduled to see a genetic counselor - not only due to the breast cancer , but to the cancer that seemed to have been taking it’s toll on several members of our family. While waiting for the results, I was scheduled for surgery to remove the cancer , a double mastectomy, chemotherapy, plastic surgery and a hysterectomy. The report came back right before my surgery that I had the BRACA gene mutation (which in basic terms means I had a mutation that doesn’t let me to fight cancer cells in my female organs and increases my chances of getting cancer), this meant the mutation came from one of my parents. When my surgery finished Dr. Reed went into the waiting room with my family and told my mom and my siblings that she wanted them in the office ASAP for genetic testing. Needless to say, my mom and my sister were tested and both had breast cancer (even though they had a mammogram a few months prior that showed nothing). They both followed in my steps within two months of each other with the same procedures. It was a crazy time in our life and I am not sure how my husband, children and dad didn’t lose their mind. My children were all tested, none of them had the gene which was truly a miracle - the surgeon actually cried with all of us when she gave the report as this was such a strong gene in our family history. Once this gene has stopped it has completely stopped for future generations.

Did I get angry and ask God why our family again? Of course! I am human, but could quickly hear the words, “Why not you?” You see, just because we are a believer doesn’t mean we don’t go through life’s ups and downs - we were only promised that He would go with us. In the moment, you can’t see goodness sometimes, but looking back - I would not be doing now if I had not walked through this life changing battle. Beauty for ashes!

When our daughter was diagnosed at age 19 with stage 3 brain cancer, we began to take trips to make memories…..you know the song “I went sky diving, rocky mountain climbing….” not knowing how our prognosis would turn out we grasped to making every memory possible. We still carry on this tradition today, which has lead me to be such an advocate for the family unit of oncology patients. Realizing that we are not promised tomorrow and how quickly life can change with one scan - it has become my mission to allow as many families as possible to make memories and to restore joy on their journey.

When the ultrasound tech told my surgeon today “She is boring!” (after being in remission for 8.5 years) I was overwhelmed with joy! My surgeon did say back to the tech, “I follow her on FB she is far from boring?”.

Jeremiah 29:11 - only He knows!

Heart Posture

“How is your heart posture, mom?” Is a question I didn’t want my son to ask me - as a matter of fact, it made me angry that he would even ask me that question and a bottle of mosquito spray may have been tossed across the screened in porch at that moment. You see, I had every right to be angry, the facts were all lining up in my mind. I had been wronged, a relationship had been strained, due to a leader that had spoken and reacted in a way that lined up with the opposite of what I thought was appropriate. The audacity that my son had to ask “how my heart posture” was when I was the one that had been offended and hurt. If I am being honest, I didn’t do the spiritual thing and make everything right with the people on the porch, my family, that I lashed out at because they weren’t seeing the hurt that I was walking through and wanted me to let go of my anger and have a heart that was teachable.

In the middle of the night, I woke up after a dream that rocked my world a little bit. I dreamt that our Adipsy office was in a less than desired neighborhood, in an old home on a corner lot that had been restored. This neighborhood seemed to have the worst of the worst living in it. The problem was the supply store where we purchased everything from was one block away. There was a block of homes that if you were a female, you literally could not walk past, you would have to be in full athletic wear to run past in hopes that the men would not come out and chase you. I left the house and crossed the street to walk on the opposite side of the road from these homes, very preoccupied with a phone conversation, I was walking instead of running. I looked up from my phone conversation, and a line of women about 100 feet behind each other were running - it was then that I saw my daughter as the last person in that line. She had made it and as I yelled across the street to her, “I guess the men are not home today.” I began to hear a rough voice and a porch door slam, they were home and the chase was now on. I thought that he would begin chasing me because I was closer but he took off after the last person that had ran past the house, which happened to be my daughter. Chelsie entered the office and he stormed in behind her - I was screaming and crying as my not so fast self tried to run to her rescue. As I entered the office my husband arrived, I was so delirious that he held on to me instead of letting me run up the stairs to find our daughter. He was trying to calm me down enough to figure out what was going on and I was trying to run in full blown attack mode. After getting him caught up with what was going, on I demanded that he go get a weapon so that we could be prepared to attack the predator. When we opened the door to where we knew our daughter would be our posture was ready for attack, to find her sitting on the floor with her head resting against a wall, very peaceful. Across from her was not a male but a female lying in fetal position weeping. We grabbed our daughter to make sure that she was okay and find out what had happened. She had said that as the “male” started to attack her she screamed, “No, don’t you know what no means!” At that point the male backed up and began to morph into this teenage girl. Chelsie looked at this creature as this was happening and said, “Darling, what is going on?” At that point the girl began to weep and tell her of situations that had happened to her that had caused her to take on something that she was not because of the wrong that had been done to her. The teenager laid her head in my lap and said, “It was the firmness and the kindness that your daughter showed me today that caused me to realize what I had become.”

When I woke up there was an unexplainable peace in my room. I could finally see it now, my son was not asking me not to be upset over wrong doing, but to have a heart that was postured out of love instead of attack mode.

My friend, there are always going to be situations that cause us to be angry and upset. For some of us it may be an unexpected sickness, a loss of a family member, that crazy person on your job or maybe even someone in your own household. If we continue to bottle up the anger and resentment we are only hurting ourselves and missing out on this beautiful life that God has given us. Bad things are going to happen, people are going to be people but the real question is - how are we going to handle it. I am asking God for more love, to be able to see people through his eyes and not my own. My prayer for you today is that we have a heart posture that is full of love, radiating kindness wherever we go.